Over 40 Beauty Rules: Things Never to Say to a Woman Over 40

Yes, there are over 40 beauty rules, but they apply to the people who surround us that should bite their tongues and think before they speak. I refer to the things one should never say to a woman over 40.

I am so tired about writing anti-aging bullshit. Damn it, we get old, too damn fucking fast too. Before you know it, you went from 25 to 45 in a blink of the eye that now needs glasses to read the shitty little fine print on the jar of anti-aging skin cream that is supposed to take away tiny lines. But, guess what? That shit doesn’t work, you’re still 46 and no matter how damn hard you try, unless you have beaucoup bucks to splurge on Botox, needles, dermatologists and plastic surgeons, you are fucked! The only over 40 beauty rules that are worth their weight in gold are to NOT GIVE A CRAP! But, sadly, I do!

And why should I care! When my boys (sons and hubby) see “plastic” women, they notice the fakeness, not the “beauty.” They are attracted to a much more natural looking woman and for that I am grateful. But, aging still annoys the shit out of me. (Sorry for the color! For those who know me, this is the REAL me, not the oh, I know all there is to know about beauty and am going to write so professionally.) This is me when I am peeved, and the garbage that explodes out of people’s vomit boxes about age have irked me the past…since I turned 35.

Lately, whether intense PMS (no menopause for me-won’t ever happen as far as I can tell, I am like clockwork, my mother never went through it, so my vajajay will never get dusty and old thank you very much) or other stresses in my life, the subject of aging has struck an internal chord. So my over 40 beauty rules are for people to remain tightlipped when it comes to age and think before you speak.

Recently I have heard stupid comments about menopause, read various generalizations that lumped me into a specific age, height and weight category, and heard Ma’am once too often. Now I shouldn’t have let the lumping thing get me, because they were so clearly off the mark about my height, that I knew it was evidently just a guess about me, but being so insecure it got to me.

And yes, I crumble, I melt, I am not as strong as so many think I am. I cannot always be that rock. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, I need to be picked up too. And my confidence is a façade, one that works well for me and has been my tricky little beauty secret for years, because it makes people think and take notice, even if you aren’t the most beautiful, shapely, tallest or richest woman in the room.

The over 40 beauty rules are to say nothing, like my mother always said, “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.”

• Don’t guess a woman’s age, and don’t ask someone to guess yours-you will be disappointed.
• Don’t ask questions that relate to age or anything that pertains to it—about kids, etc., because chances are you are wrong, and maybe some people have chosen to not have children or can’t have any, so shut up!
• Don’t say Ma’am. I hate it! It annoys me. It might be polite, or a regional thing y’all, but it is irritating, especially if it comes from someone clearly 20 years your senior.
• Don’t tell someone they look tired! Just call the damn kettle black for God’s sake. Of course I am tired. I have 4 kids, two jobs, a husband, a house and a blind ass dog that pees all over it. But, yeh thanks for noticing I don’t have any makeup on.
• Don’t assume we are of the same era because I bop to the song you graduated high school to. I love all music and have brothers of all ages that enjoyed different decades of various musical genres when I was a small child. Appreciation of music doesn’t start at 16. And not everyone likes the Beatles or knows all their songs either. I had a school principal once say to me, “Oh you know that song (the octopus one)!” Um, no I didn’t!  It was popular when I was like 3, and I wasn’t a fan of them, ever.

Therefore, Ask the Pros Stylist’s over 40 beauty rules, which will make an older woman smile and in turn take ten years off her face, is to never, EVER mention anything age-related. And if that means, NEVER SPEAK, then just say NOTHING! Oh, and how will you know she is over 40? You won’t, so shut up!

©Deirdre Haggerty, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this article may be reproduced without prior written permission and consent from the author.